


Afraid of Sunrise

by ViterWrites



Category: Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: A lot of contemplating, Epilogue, Gen, Internal Monologue, POV First Person, first attempt at writing in first person since... mission code?, just a short thing I did for an hour, not edited, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:55:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22633897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViterWrites/pseuds/ViterWrites
Summary: Minutes until his last dawn in Sienne.





	Afraid of Sunrise

When was the last time it went like this, I wonder? The last time I lay awake in bed through the night, contemplating my choices, thinking and arguing with myself… the last time I was unable to get any shuteye? I’ve heard it said that war brings insomnia, but that’s never been the case for me. What’s more, both in the Mad King’s and in this one, we all were exhausted and most fell asleep the minute they lay or even sat down. But now, when it’s all over and done… it’s back. Even though the reason this time is the opposite of what it’d been the last.  
Actually, no. It’s the same reason. The only difference is that this time I won’t be on the receiving side, but the cause. The cause of shock and disbelief, worry and pain… But nonetheless there’s no other choice. I cannot stay here. Not here in Sienne, not in Melior, not in Zarzi… not anywhere near. Anywhere but here. I can’t force myself to walk these dusted, bloodstained roads more than necessary to get to some port and sail to goddess-knows-where. Maybe things could finally be all right with me gone. Hopefully they will. Seemed harder to believe that with each passing day. At least I know I’ve done what I could and couldn’t to ensure that happening. What the future holds is beyond my reach.  
“But you could stay, Ike. Take the reins and oversee the process or even stay behind and watch from the shadows.” Sure, I could. Doesn’t mean I should. It took three years to heal from the war with Daein only. This time, I won’t dare say it’ll take three years. It’s one thing to clash with generals or put the mindless feral ones to rest. Fighting the soldiers or, worse, barely-enlisted civilians is hard enough. What to even say of those who were once with me? Sothe, Zihark, Jill, Ilyana… I don’t think I can take another time where I need to shut myself in and become an addition to the sword. Not like there would be a choice, but that will be a wound too deep to heal in a lifetime. And who knows where that would go. Not me.  
So no. I’m going, as I’ve settled. The moment I see any light outside. The time to get up and leave. Because if I won’t do it now, I won’t do it ever. Damn, haven’t ever had any trouble sticking to the plan, but… this isn’t going to be the same, will it? Is this why time goes by so slowly? And maybe it’s why I’m dreading that moment. Funny how a dawn in Nevassa started it all, and a dawn in Sienne is when it all ends. Only fitting.  
The lack of sleep won’t stop me either. If anything, I could stay in a random inn along the way or just sleep in the forest. Not sure if I can find any branch sturdy enough for me at this point… but a tent should do the trick. Not like it’s the first time I’ve travelled sleep-deprived. On second thought, this might be good. Will be able to leave without anybody noticing. Or, at least, as few people as it’s possible.  
I can’t help but wonder if this will work. If being somewhere not tainted by old memories will sew up the cuts and soothe the pain from the bruises. Odd how I say that, having earned my living as a mercenary… And will still probably do. What other choice there is? A guard, maybe?.. That could work. Not sure if I want to participate in any wars from now on. Though that’s not up to me to decide, huh?  
In any case, it- ah. Here it is. The first ray. No time to lose.  
I wish I could’ve said goodbye to more of you. But I couldn’t. Not even to you, Mist. And though I know you won’t be happy about it, deep inside you’d know why it is so. You would’ve watched my room through the night and passed out by the morning. And when I’d see you there, sitting across the door… I wouldn’t have been able to do this. Barely able to walk even now. Couldn’t even write a letter…  
I’m sorry, sister. I’m sorry, Soren, Ranulf and Titania, Boyd and Oscar, all the others… May our paths cross again one day. In a few years, somewhere far away… At dusk. A good time for a reunion, isn’t it?


End file.
